Monday, March 3, 2008

mean

once again i find myself lost at sea, violently tossed about in the maelstrom of my own hormones. i am impish and mischievous. i am delicate and fragile. i am full of rage and malevolence. my breasts are gigantic tender fun bags that cause my back to ache. my face is a map of the stars. differing moods whips through me, ravaging my emotional sensibility. i have no tolerance for anyone, even myself. i am quick to take offense and tears come as easily and as involuntary as breath into my lungs.

i have no patience. i unceremoniously jerk my clothes on, jab at my face with make-up sponges. my words are cruel and slash forth in a venomous spray of spittle. my body strains at the seams of clothes that normally fit. it makes me angry and i want to rip them to shreds. even my own skin feels like its straining at the expanse of my innards. i am uncomfortable. i am mean. i am angry. i am scary.

gimme a minute... just one... i can feel the tears starting to prick at my eyes. the next mood will be here soon... and all this mean talk will be gone just as soon as it washed in.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh honey, we are so in sync! Had such a miserable day of eating yesterday, and feel like I gained all my weight back. TOM is a pain! Hang in there, sweetie.

Lasserday said...

i am like this, too. i swear i am crappy over ovulation, too, so that is basically the whole damn month! i guess the only comfort is the quick changing of the moods, like you said. at least no one thing stays for too long.

Heather said...

aw Im so sorry!! I have days like that too, where I look in the mirror and think I look so disgusting! TOM hit me end of last week and I felt disgusting. my skin was dry but breaking out, I was severely bloated (as evident by my 2 pound gain) and I wanted to eat everything in sight. Hang in there, this will pass!