crazy-making lady bits

ah heightened hormones... sometimes ye are the bane of my very existence. i can count on you to make me an absolutely unrecognizable nut-job for a good two to three (and sometimes, if i'm lucky, four) solid weeks out of the month. my respite from emotional helter skelter has once again given way to all out bat-shit-crazies...

last nite it started innocently enough and without my knowing... i ran around the house after work in a cleaning frenzy... but not just any cleaning frenzy. it was the type of frenzy that would put any ADD, sugar addled kid to shame. the frenzied cleaning part wasn't the problem. the problem was that i could only spend 30 - 45 seconds on a task before jumping into the next thing... before finishing all the various chores that i started, i ended up crashed out on the bed, drooling on a crossword puzzle. this is how my guy found me when he came home.

"did you overdose?" he asked coyly, noting my unnatural, splayed position on the bed and my drooly crossword.

"unghHHHHH" was my irritated response.

"you look like you've taken big game tranquilizers.... what's wrong wit.... uh oh. are you... premenstrual?" he gingerly asked as he slowly backed out of the bedroom.

judging from the way he flattened himself against the wall and tried to sneak out of there unnoticed, i knew he was bracing for some kind of maniacal response from me. fortunately, through my menstrual induced crazy-haze, i was able to see the hilarity in the moment and started to laugh.

the rest of the evening held more of the same... me chattering on like a crazed chatty cathy one moment, then falling into a near-coma stupor the next... following my guy around while he cleaned up all my half-finished cleaning projects... today, however, was much more tolerable. though i can sense the emotional instability creeping into my sanity like the first wisps of menstrual fog crawling forth from the shore, today was somewhat back to normal. all bets are off for tomorrow though...

so while i have the clarity of mind (at least i think i do), i'd like to offer up a little prayer that i make it through the next couple of weeks without too much fallout from 'altered me'. and even if it gets really crazy up in 'dis muuuug, there's room for it. just please, god, jah, allah, goddess, please, regardless of the insanity i may suffer in the coming days, please help me stick to something that even remotely resembles my daily weight watchers points... and even if i can't do that, just help me from careening too far off into an ocean of chocolate.

i am woman. hear me roar. then laugh. then cry. then laugh again. then laugh harder. then cry again, laughing a little while crying. then yell. then cry some more. then.....