week 1 goal: document all food intake. goal met
week 2 goal: stay within weekly alloted points. goal almost met.
didn't quite meet my week 2 goal, but i did lose a pound and a half at my weigh in yesterday. i was really beating myself up, too - this past weekend i had the most god awfully good thick wedge fries and some of that disgusting bright orange melty yummy cheese. so good. but i felt so bad having them. this is one of those times where i'm grateful that i'm as large as i am because i get 31 glorious points a day on the weight watchers menu. i know, backwards thinking... but those fries were a little more than half of my daily allotment. so good though. it's amazing how riddled with guilt i felt in anticipation of the weigh-in and the goal check-in. the goal is to lose weight, right? so why the freaky freak-out? seems to me that it all just comes down to math. and yet i imbue that simple daily equation with enough emotional turmoil to make the freshman year at an all girls academy look sane. curiously enough i had quite a few triumphs this week - gutted the office/second bedroom and brought organization and cleanliness to an otherwise storage wasteland; logged more pedometer steps in one day than ever before; lost weight. yet all of these huge achievements seem to get swallowed by my own neurosis.
week 3 goal: make a dentist appointment and an eye doctor appointment
in addition to the week 3 goal, i'm going to try to focus on staying sane when curveballs come my way. i have to remind myself that this is a process. there are ups and downs. but the big picture has me moving forward, my weight trending down and my relationship with my body finding balance. i truly believe that regular blogging is key to helping me stay the course. i find that when i blog on a daily basis, i am more accountable to myself. i am more aware of my mind/body relationship. i am less likely to fall off the wagon into a box of big-cheez-its-because-it's-weigh-in-day-and-i-have-a-full-week-to-work-these-off-my-ass. i will quit beating myself up over the stupid shit, too. guilt DOES NOT BURN CALORIES. exercise does.
here's to another week of cumulative goal-building and getting back in the saddle. oh yeah, and to being nice to myself.
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5 comments:
"guilt DOES NOT BURN CALORIES. exercise does."
This is so true -- and besides, you enjoyed those cheese fries. Why try to take the pleasure out of that moment retrospectively? (Convoluted sentence, but you know what I mean. :) )
And I raise my glass to your toast: here's to getting back in the saddle and being nice to ourselves. Here, here!
and getting back in the dentist's chair....i am sure it will fit just fine! brave brave woman! just think about how proud you will be (and relieved) after it is over!
congrats on your loss! often we think that messing up will cause us to gain, but usually if you can limit a bad food choice to one event, youd be suprised that the results are not so bad. I think once you can master not feeling guilty about some choices you make, you will really be able to enjoy food and what you are eating and know that you have control over that.
I think it is good idea to keep a moderate and achievable goal and keep a check on your intake. This is quite an interesting posting.
I agree unrealistic goals mean failure and thus negative depression brings in worse trouble ...so keep small targets which can be achieved and slowly you can go on making it harder by the day.
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